Become Successful with Mentoring
“Wow Themba, what a beautiful new car! It looks like you are doing really well. Share your secret. Have you got yourself a rich boyfriend or is you dad feeling kind”
“No Way. I bought this myself. I really worked hard on the recent Biframe project and showed that I can do more that what my job is. I have been included on the permanent project team and the best thing is that I got an increase. So it is no secret, I am going places”
“But why can’t I also get ahead. I work hard, but I seem to be swimming through mud.”
“OK. I did not tell you everything. I read an interesting article on mentoring and I followed some of the recommendations and it has really helped. Here are some of the things I learnt’”
There is so much to learn at work and about life, that most of us can’t get our heads around all of it. You don’t even know what you don’t know. Some of it is written in the company policy documents, but it is not all there. Some of the ways of working have developed over time and it is in the unwritten rules. That applies to the “rules” of working with others as well. To this person you can say this and to that person you can’t do that. There are so many secrets and so you need someone who has been there before you to share the answers with you.
But everyone in the business is busy and more senior people don’t really talk to the juniors. Why would they want to take some of their time to help others? The truth is that they will under certain conditions. Firstly they understand what it feels like to be a junior, because everyone started somewhere. As one moves into success, part of what adds meaning to your life is to help someone else. But they have to be persuaded to offer you their time and wisdom. A wise farmer does not sow seed on the rocks, only onto fertile land. So you have to prove to your selected mentor that you are worthy.
Prepare a one year and five year plan for your life with specific goals. Start with at least five goals and as you get better you can increase the number. If you know about a wheel of life or other ways to set your life goals, use it. Successful businesses all have plans and goals and they have a management team to make sure that everything happens and is well managed. If you want to be successful, consider yourself as a business. Now you are going to select a board of directors who are highly skilled to manage “your business”. Allocate one goal to one mentor. So you end up with a few different mentors depending on the number of goals and how hard you want to work at “your business”.
When you request a mentor to share their wisdom with you, you must be clear about what you would like help with, what your goal is and the time frame. People will be more prepared to help if they know it is for a set period of time. Tell them why they have been selected and give them a title. Like “I have selected you as my director of finances because you manage the department’s budget” or “I have selected you as my director of internal affairs as you have been here so long I think you know all the unwritten rules and I need to learn them”.
When you are clear about what you want help with, a mentor will know how to help you. Other things may emerge and your relationship will have a platform to grow from.
In return for this gift of wisdom, you should look for any way in which you can repay your mentor. Carry their books, bake them a cake – anything! Be very respectful of your mentor’s time, so make sure you arrive on time for appointments and be prepared so that you do not take more time than is necessary. And more than anything else, share your achievements with them, even long after the mentor relationship is ended.
If you really want to understand how mentoring can work, right now, offer yourself as a mentor to someone else, at work or church or home. The more you understand what it takes to be a mentor, the better mentee you will be.
